Stephen Kuhn

Stephen Kuhn has been leading recovery groups, speaking at college campuses, and providing free online counseling through Belt of Truth Ministries ever since he got steamrolled by Jesus and set free from the chains of porn addiction. His passion is to allow God to use the story of redemption in his life to encourage other men to seek healing through the work of Christ as well.

Smart Quote: Dean Curry

“Grace is not opposed to working. Grace is opposed to earning.” —Dean Curry

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

What If You’re the One Who Cheated?

I just noticed that xxxChurch.com reposted one of my older articles on their site today so I figured I’d share the link again here as well. If you aren’t familiar with xxxChurch, they’re the #1 site on the internet offering biblical help for those who struggle with porn addiction. I suggest you check out all the great resources they offer to help you on your journey to freedom. And, of course, check out my post on their site as well.

What-If-You're-The-One-Who-CheatedEarlier this week, Craig wrote about the hard question: “Should I stay or should I go?”

But what if you aren’t the one asking that question? What if you’re the spouse who cheated and brought the question into your marriage?

That, unfortunately, is my story.

I hid my porn addiction from my wife for the majority of our marriage. When I finally did confess it to her, it was like a bomb went off in her heart. She felt hurt, betrayed, blindsided, and angry.

Read the rest of the article on xxxChurch.com.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Richard Rohr | The Performance Principle

“It’s not what you do for God; it’s what God has done for you. You switch from trying to love God to just letting God love you. And it’s at that point you fall in love with God.”

Ray Ortlund | We Are Our Secrets

“What if we admitted our weaknesses, owned up to our failures, named our idiot-moments, confessed our follies, errors and debts, and also hid away from everyone’s view our smart ideas, heroic sacrifices, kind deeds, charities and virtues? What if, instead of throwing back at the other guy his worst failure while trotting out our own best moment, we put up our worst against his best? What then? Our hearts might start filling up.”

Lifeway | The 1 Temptation of Every Man

“Men, I can feel it inside me – this urge to simply let things happen. To assume a position of powerlessness. To take the easy road of being uninformed and uninvested. But this is not the road that God has charted out for us. This is not the road that He Himself takes on behalf of us. God is a Father who is actively engaged, not passively aware.”

XXXchurch | 9 Reasons Men Should Stay Away from Porn

“Some people believe that pornography can add excitement to their sex life. However, studies prove just the opposite. Porn actually produces less intimacy between partners, less romantic excitement, and less satisfaction in real sexual experiences.”

Tim Challies | What a Wonder!

“If the Holy Spirit has made his home within you, you can be sure that he will never abandon you. Who or what could ever drive God out of his dwelling place? Is Satan powerful enough to displace the Spirit? Of course not.”

Gospel Coalition | Why God’s Sexual Ethic Is Good for the World

DONE: You Have Been Given Assurance that You Will Rise from the Dead

For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him. (1 Thessalonians 4:14)

What if I told you zombies were real?

Now, don’t go running off to buy a chainsaw or a shotgun just yet. This verse doesn’t mean you need to worry about brain-eating zombies crawling out of their graves and chasing you into a pub.

In order for us to understand what’s really going on here, we need to look at the broader context of this passage:

We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words (1 Thessalonians 4:15-18).

When we read this passage in context, we can see that Paul isn’t talking about the dead coming back to steal life away from those who are still living (zombies); he is talking about Christ coming back to restore life to those who are already physically dead (resurrection)!

You see, the early believers in Thessalonica were concerned that anyone who believed in Christ but died before His return would miss out on the resurrection and eternal life. Which is why Paul encourages them to rest in the truth of what God has promised us will happen when Christ returns:

  • Those who have died after trusting in Christ will be resurrected first.
  • Living believers will follow closely behind.
  • All believers will be reunited with their loved ones.
  • All who are in Christ will be reunited with God!

So yes, my friend, the dead will rise. But they won’t be zombies, they will be resurrected children of God!

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Albert Mohler | From Father to Son — J.R.R. Tolkien on Sex

“Even as Tolkien is celebrated as an author and literary figure, some of his most important messages were communicated by means of letters, and some of the most important letters were written to his sons.”

Gospel Coalition | Not Two Kingdoms, But Two Ages

“Christians are capable of acting both according to the flesh and according to the Spirit. Which further means, activities of the flesh and Spirit will inform the activities of both creation institutions and new creation institutions.”

A Mother Far from Home | The Lion That Wants to Devour Your Family

“In the past, a person had to seek out pornography to find it. They had to have enough balls (so to speak) to go into a store and buy a magazine or book. They had to pay real money to buy a video. They had to go to a strip club or massage parlor or wherever else it could be found. Now… porn finds you.”

CovenantEyes | 19 Possible Motives Triggering Your Porn Consumption

“As you identify the trigger-motive for your sexual sin, we also want you to begin to see how you are treating your sin like a friend, ally, refuge, etc. These insights are essential for repentance to make sense as a central part of change. Unless we see how our sin seeks to replace God in our life, then our need to be made right with God comes across as if God is unduly hung up about our sexuality.”

Dave Willis | 4 Things Every Parent Needs to Know About Porn

“As the conversation continued, it became apparent that even if these kids were exaggerating their own experiences to impress their peers, the stats suggest that their experience is much more common than we’d like to admit.”

And Sons | A Larger Story

DONE: You Have Been Made Complete

So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority (Colossians 2:10).

I can remember sensing something missing in my life as far back as my early teen years. As I grew older and my hormones began to take over, I started to believe that missing piece could be found in relationships.

All I needed to do was find a girlfriend and then I would be happy and my life would be complete.

Somehow, I finally convinced a girl to date me around my sophomore year of high school. I’d developed an interest in girls long before that of course, but all my previous attempts at charming them had failed miserably.

But now that I had a girlfriend, why did the hole remain?

Surely it must have been her inability to meet the need—or so I believed.

Inevitably, we broke up and I began my decade-long cycle of moving from relationship to relationship, hoping to find the right girl who would fill that void and complete me.

But no girl ever did, because no human relationship could ever fill the hole in my soul.

Yes, relationships are important. They can be a source of happiness, joy, and love in your life. But they can’t—and won’t—complete you.

Only Christ can truly complete you and make you whole. And the best part is, if you are in Christ, He already has.

When you were united with Christ, He filled that hole in your heart. Which means you don’t have to keep searching for the missing piece to your puzzle. You can finally be done with looking for the right person, the perfect job, or whatever else you are currently believing will fill the void and make your life complete.

You already are complete, because Christ has made you complete!

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Emmaus Blog | The Beautiful Gift of Gospel Community and Why You Need It

“What if our Community Groups were a place to be completely known and completely loved? What if we viewed community as a gift of grace, meant to draw us closer to Jesus?”

Tim Challies | Sex Under Law, Sex Under Grace

“As married people, and especially people who believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment rather than a mere covenant of convenience, we have the joy of working patiently at sex, knowing that our performance never threatens to change the nature of our relationship.”

Russell Moore | Rescuing Men From Fake Love and Fake War

“If you’re addicted to sugar or tequila or heroin you want more and more of that substance. But porn and video games both are built on novelty, on the quest for newer and different experiences. That’s why you rarely find a man addicted to a single pornographic image. He’s entrapped in an ever-expanding kaleidoscope.”

Relevant | How Your ‘Fantasies’ Can Ruin Real Relationships

“So many men and women today are falling in love with a dream; falling in love with someone or something that doesn’t really exist, by taking the character of someone they don’t really know and adding the story that they find themselves living in the world of fantasy falling in love with a dream, falling in love with an idea, but ultimately falling in love with a lie.”

Christ and Pop Culture | The Morgan Grimes Theory

“I don’t believe true friends have to spill their guts out to each other every day. If I don’t want to talk about something with a friend, that’s okay. But if I’m never willing to be open and honest, if I am never able to share any bit of myself beyond surface chitchat, is that a best friendship? Will constantly closing myself off inspire trust and loyalty? I don’t think so, and apparently Morgan doesn’t either.”

Beautiful Eulogy | Entitlement

DONE: Your Roots Have Been Planted in Fertile Soil

Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. (Colossians 2:7)

Jesus once told a story about a farmer who was planting seeds. Some of the seeds fell on the hard path and were quickly eaten by birds. Some fell on shallow soil and appeared to grow just fine, but as soon as the hot sun came out they withered and died. A few of the seeds fell into the thorns and were choked out by the more aggressive plants.

Wow. Thanks for the bummer story Jesus.

Yes, if the story had stopped there, it would be a total downer. Thankfully though, the story doesn’t stop there.

Jesus tells us about a fourth group of seeds that landed in good soil. Fertile, life-giving soil, full of nutrients and moist with the water of life. These seeds not only grew, they produced crops that were up to 100-times more than what was planted!

What we often fail to realize though, is this story isn’t really about how to plant seeds. It’s about the condition of your heart.

Or, more specifically, has your heart been tilled and softened to receive the message of God’s grace?

The seed that fell on good soil represents those who truly hear and understand God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted! (Matthew 13:23)

The moment you put your faith in Christ, the soil of your heart was transformed into good soil because of His presence within you! Which means you already have everything you need to establish deep roots into the water of life. Not because you’re a special seed (sorry), but because your roots are planted in special soil.

Smart Quote: C.H. Spurgeon

“It is easier to save us from our sins than from our righteousness.” —C.H. Spurgeon

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

If You’re Believing in Uncle George, Let Me Introduce You to My Abba Father

Recently, a friend of mine introduced me to a story he felt perfect explained the way he’d felt about God for some time. The more he shared it with me, the more I realized just how similar my own view of God had been for much of my life. I’m willing to bet many of you—if you’re being honest—will recognize some of your own views in the story that follows as well.

Good Old Uncle George

Source Unknown

God was a family relative, much admired by Mum and Dad, who described him as very loving, a great friend of the family, very powerful and interested in all of us. Eventually we are taken to visit ‘Good Old Uncle George.’ He lives in a formidable mansion, is bearded, gruff and threatening. We cannot share our parents’ professed admiration for this jewel in the family. At the end of the visit Uncle George turns to address us.

‘Now listen, dear,’ he begins, looking very severe, ‘I want to see you here once a week, and if you fail to come, let me just show you what will happen to you.’ He then leads us down to the mansion’s basement. It is dark, becomes hotter and hotter as we descend, and we begin to hear unearthly screams. In the basement there are steel doors. Uncle George opens one.

‘Now look there, dear,’ he says. We see a nightmare vision, an array of blazing furnaces with little demons in attendance, who hurl into the blaze those men, women and children who failed to visit Uncle George or to act in a way he approved.

‘And if you don’t visit me, dear, that is where you will most certainly go,’ says Uncle George. He then takes us upstairs again to meet Mum and Dad. As we go home, tightly clutching Dad with one hand and Mum with the other. Mum leans over us and says, ‘And now don’t you love Uncle George with all your heart and soul, mind and strength?’ And we, loathing the monster, say, ‘Yes, I do,’ because to say anything else would be to join the queue at the furnace. At a tender age religious schizophrenia has set in and we keep telling Uncle George how much we love him and how good he is and that we want to do only what pleases him. We observe what we are told are his wishes and dare not admit, even to ourselves, that we loathe him.

As I stated earlier, this was my view of God for much of my Christian life—and it wasn’t working for me at all. I hid from God, deeply afraid that He would reject me for my sins. I pretended to trust Him and love Him, secretly fearing His wrath and judgement.

Rarely (if ever) did I experience any of the peace, joy, or life I was promised in God’s Word—and now I can see why.

The God I was believing in, Good Old Uncle George, didn’t exist, and thus He would never be able to offer those blessings or change my life. As frightening as it was at first, I had to walk away from Uncle George before I could encounter the real God.

And the same is true for you.

When my friend told me about Uncle George, I knew I had to write my own version of the story. So I asked the Father, how would You like to be introduced to those who still think you’re like Uncle George?

“Tell them I am their Abba,” He replied.

Abba Father

One day I awoke to find myself trapped in pit of destruction so deep and dark there was no possible way I could ever escape. High above me I could see the rope I had spent years slipping down, inch by inch as I tried in vain to climb up it. It quickly became apparent to me that I had finally reached the end of that rope and had no choice but to let go.

Far above the rope I saw a light shining in through the opening of the pit, the same light, I assume, that I’d always sensed shown from where freedom and paradise would be found. The place where I would no longer have to climb using my own power, but could finally experience rest and relief in every fiber of my being.

As I continued to squint upwards, something moved in the light. No, not something… Someone. Eventually I could see that the Someone was the light. As this man moved, it became clear He was moving towards me. He reached His arm into the pit, wrapped it gently around my soul, and began to lift me up.

Instantly, something in me recoiled. It may have been from His glorious light against my eyes after they had grown so used to the darkness. Perhaps it was the shock of seeing all the mud and slime on me smearing against the whiteness of His garment. Whatever it was, it caused me to shout, “Stop! You don’t know who I am or what I’ve done. I’ve tried in vain to climb the rope but I’ve failed countless times. I so desperately want out of this pit, but I can’t let you take me like this. Please give me more time to clean myself up first and then I’ll climb up to meet you.”

The thing is, if I’m being honest, I knew I could never clean myself up. There was no water around with which to do so. I could smear the mud to different places perhaps, but I could never make myself clean. Furthermore, how was I supposed to reach that rope again? It was impossible. It always had been, and still was, impossible.

In that moment, I heard the man speak to me in the most loving, gentle, yet immensely powerful voice I had ever heard. “You are correct to recognize that you can’t clean yourself up or climb out on your own. What you are just beginning to realize though, is you were never asked to do any of that. I am the only One who can do those things for you. In fact, I already have. All those years you were hanging there, trying to climb up to paradise on your own, my hand was below you waiting for you to simply drop into it. Like many others though, you had to hit the bottom before you could look away from the rope and see me. But even though you’ve fallen and hit bottom, it’s not too late for you. It’s never to late.”

“Who are you?” I asked the man. “Why are you doing this?”

“I am life. I am love. I am light. I am not who you’ve been told that I am, yet I am infinitely more than you’ve ever dreamed I am. For now, you can rest simply knowing that I AM.

“As for my motive… I am doing this because I love you. I created you, and you are my favorite—my masterpiece—no matter how flawed you believe yourself to be. There is nothing in the universe I want more than to be with you, the real you, and I will do whatever it takes to ensure that we will be together—always.

“You may think the filth that clings to you will cause me to reject you, but I can assure you it never will. I have known every speck of dirt on your body from before you were born, including the muck that you haven’t even wallowed in yet. And knowing all of that, I still sent my Son, Jesus, to clean it off for you.”

As I listened to Him tell me the story of how His son gave his life to cleanse me, I began to believe that perhaps it was true. Not just in a general sense, but that this story was true specifically for me. It was then that I felt something new. I looked down at my waist and noticed the mud was completely gone, allowing my skin to breathe for the first time. As the man continued to speak, a pleasant wind swirled around me. I quickly realized this feeling was no breeze, but His breath filling my soul with abundant life for the first time.

“I see you are beginning to believe and receive my life, son.”

“Son?” I questioned. “Why did you just refer to me as your son?”

“Because from this day forward, you will always be my son and I will always be your Father. The very moment you trusted in my Jesus, you became united with Him. And for that reason you will never again be the man you used to be. You are a new creation, washed clean with His blood and filled with the very same Spirit that raised Him from the dead. You have been eternally adopted into My family, and nothing will ever change that. There is nothing you could ever do, think, say, or imagine that will cause me to love you any less than I love Jesus himself.”

As He spoke, these words of love and acceptance became like pure water to my parched soul. I realized the pit, even though I had always despised it, no longer felt like the place I was supposed to be. I now could see my true home was with Him.

“Please,” I asked the man. “Tell me your name so I will know how to call on you.”

“To you, my son, I am your Abba.” He replied to me in His now familiar voice of comfort. “And do call on me often. I am always with you and willing to talk, no matter what you’re going through. Like I said earlier, you are (and always have been) my favorite.”

As I reclined into the arms of my Abba, I finally understood what true peace felt like. Never again would I need to climb that rope in a desperate attempt to reach the freedom of paradise. Paradise, it turns out, had been reaching down to me this whole time.

Friends, Abba is real, and He loves you more than you can ever imagine. If you’re still believing in Good Old Uncle George, you already know he’s not working for you. Walk, no, RUN away from his lies and into the arms of your true creator who loves you with the exact same love He has for His son, Jesus.

I promise you, if you allow yourself to rest in the arms of Abba Father, you will find the peace, joy, and life you’ve been longing for all along.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview