DONE: You Have Been Made Dead to Sin

[Jesus] personally carried our sins in his body on the cross, so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed (1 Peter 2:24).

In order to comprehend the full depth of what this verse means for us we first need to understand what is true about those who have yet to put their trust in Christ:

  1. When Adam chose to live his life apart from God, sin entered into mankind and brought with it death. This sin is in the hearts of all mankind from birth. (see Romans 5:12)
  2. The only way to be set free from the penalty of your sin is for it to be included in the death of Jesus. (see Romans 6:7)
  3. If you die physically without trusting Jesus to pay the penalty of your sin, the sin in your heart will keep you separated from God for all eternity.

So, instead of being dead to sin, those who are still living independently from Christ are dead in their sin. The sin within them defines who they are, dictates how they are able to live, and destines where they will spend eternity.

No matter how you spin it, that is not good news.

But let’s look at what today’s verse says about those of us who have trusted in Christ:

  1. When Jesus was on the cross, all of your sins (past, present, and future) were placed on His body.
  2. When He died, His death fulfilled the penalty of your sin. And now that your sin debt has been satisfied, it will never need to be paid again.
  3. When Christ came back to life, you were also included in His everlasting life. This life of Christ within you is what gives you the power to live righteously today.

Therefor, because of Christ’s work on the cross, you have been made dead to sin and alive in Him. Your old identity of sinner was crucified with Jesus and you have been given a new identity of holy, righteous saint.

But if I’m truly dead to sin, why do I still struggle with it?

Perhaps the better question is: “How does God view those who are in Christ when they fall back into sin?”

Scripture answers that question clearly:

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

Because of what Christ did for you on the cross, you have been made dead to the penalty of your sins. Your sin will never again define how God sees you.

In fact, when God looks at you, He sees you as holy and blameless (even when you are sitting in front of a computer with your pants around your ankles).

Yes, all of us will struggle with sin from time to time…even after we trust Christ. But those struggles no longer define us in the eyes of God.

Furthermore, the life of Christ within you gives you the power you need to walk away from sin. You may not always choose to, but for the first time in your life you actually have the ability to do so.

And that, my friend, is good news.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Randy Alcorn | Parents: It’s Time to Wake Up About Pornography, Sexting, and Your Children

“The great majority of children, especially boys but also girls, who are allowed access to pornography will view it, either inadvertently or purposefully, and many of those will become addicted to it, ruining their lives and in many cases ruining their future marriages.”

Desiring God | Live Like Sons and Daughters of the King

“We don’t know how to receive favor without working for it. And so we subtly (or not so subtly) trade away the one true gospel because we prefer to work for and serve God as slaves (or at least as employees), and not as sons.”

Timothy Paul Jones | C.S. Lewis and the False Promise of Pornography

“[O]ur Creator never intended our sexuality to be divorced from the costly joy of covenant commitment. The result of this pursuit of an imaginary harem is not increased pleasure but brokenness and pain that extend to at least three areas of life…”

Fierce Marriage | 3 Boundaries You Absolutely Need In Your Marriage

“When you stood (or will stand, if you’re not yet married) at the altar on your wedding day, you made a covenant that drew a boundary around the two of you. A wall was built that is meant to protect you from attack, and allow you to flourish within. You agreed that some things would be exclusively within your boundaries (exclusivity and privacy of sex, as one example). You also agreed that some things would be exclusively outside of your boundaries (divorce, for one).”

Pastors Press | More Like Sherlock, Less Like Watson

“I have found that with the twenty-four hour information flow on as many channels or websites, I can fill my mind with a lot of stuff that is at best trivial. Perhaps we all need to reflect on our daily intake of information and ask ourselves: ‘Does my intake of information fit the qualifications enumerated by Paul?’”

Andrew Peterson: Don’t You Want to Thank Someone

DONE: You Became Part of God’s Royal Priesthood

You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light
(1 Peter 2:9).

Imagine you’re at your wedding standing across from the woman you love. The pastor is saying something about forever…rich or poor…better or worse… But if you’re honest, it’s all a blur. Your mind is fixated on the beauty in front of you.

You know you love this woman, and you decided long before this moment that you want to spend your life with her, so whatever you agree to at this point is just confirmation of what you already know in your heart.

The important thing to recognize though, is this ceremony is the moment when you will finally become her husband.

For those of you who have been there, did you have any idea how to be a husband on the day of your wedding? Did you fully understand what you were agreeing to when you made those vows?

Nope. None of us did.

But that didn’t change the fact that you still became a husband the moment you said “I do.” It just means you now get to spend the rest of your life figuring out what being a husband looks like.

That’s the thing about identity. You often become something long before you know how to actually be that something.

 

You often become something
long before you know how to
actually be that something.

 

The moment you put your faith in Christ you became a royal priest. You became holy. You are now possessed by God in the same way a husband and wife possess one another.

Do you know how to be a priest? Do you know how to be holy? Probably not completely. But the more you trust that God has already made those descriptors true of you, the more you will learn how to live according to that truth.

You are already a priest. Now you can learn how to live as one.

You are already holy. Now you get to learn how to walk in holiness.

You are already God’s possession, and not even death can separate the two of you.

And as a result, “you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.”

Smart Quote: Justin Holcomb

“God loves you right now. He doesn’t love some future version of you that tries harder or is more obedient.” —Justin Holcomb

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Reader Q/A: How do I stop thinking about past sexual partners?

Additional Resources

Books:

The Bondage Breaker, Neil Anderson

Podcasts:

Ransomed Heart Ministries, Soul TiesPart 1, Part 2, Part 3

Ask me a question
10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

 

Transcript:

Hey guys! Steve from Belt of Truth Ministries here. I want to start answering questions from you guys from video rather than just writing. I think this will be a little more personal, a little more fun to do it this way.

And actually the main reason I’m doing this is I got a question just last week from a woman and she didn’t leave her email address and so I couldn’t respond back to her directly. So I figured this will be a great opportunity to do a video first, because the question she had is a question that I’m sure a lot of you guys have and women that are checking this out as well.

Her question was she’s currently married and she finds she has a previous sexual partner, a boyfriend, before she was married and she can’t stop thinking about him. She loves her husband. She tries to connect with him but her mind is constantly going back to fantasies about this previous partner and she reached out to me and said “how do I stop? I don’t want to be thinking about him but I can’t stop” and I figured this is a question that a lot of you probably have.

And here’s the thing though, the bible talks directly about this. What we have going on here is what we call a soul tie. In 1 Corinthians 1:16 and 18, I love the way that the message translation puts it. It says “there’s more to sex than just skin on skin. Sex is as much a spiritual mystery as a physical act, as written in the scriptures, two become one.” There’s a union going on there. And actually Paul goes on to talk in verse 18. “There’s a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others.” In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeling love for again, becoming one, with another. When two people come together sexually, their spirits are united. They’re connected spiritually. This is awesome in marriage and this is why God created it, created sex for marriage. It will literally fuse you and your wife together in a unity. You become one.

The problem though is when that happens outside of marriage and it happens with multiple partners and I’m willing to bet that’s what’s going on here with this women that she still has that spiritual union going on with that previous partner. And this plays out in a lot of ways. If you find that you just can’t stop thinking about somebody, if you find that you’ve got letters from ex-girlfriends or photos of ex-girlfriends that you just can’t get rid of, that every now and then you just pull out and you want to look at them and maybe you’re still Facebook friends with a previous sexual partner or somebody that you’ve lusted after significantly and you keep going back to their site and Facebook-stalking them. All of that stuff can be signs of soul ties and they’re not healthy and they’re not beneficial. But the great thing is God wants to break them and He can break them and here’s how that works.

In order to break those soul ties, it’s a spiritual battle. It’s not something you can do on your own. It’s something that God must do for you. I encourage you to find some time to get alone, grab a notebook and sit down and just say “Lord, please bring to my mind any soul ties, any bondage that’s going on in my heart, any connection that’s going with another person that’s causing bondage. Please bring that to my mind.” And write it down, no matter how insignificant, no matter how little it seems, just trust that the Holy Spirit is bringing that to your mind and if you’re like me, you’re going to end up with a pretty big list. I remember when I did this the first time, I had all of my ex-girlfriends, the women that I had been with previous to marriage, lots of times looking at pornography, things like that. Even things as simple as playing Ouija board in middle school. It seemed totally innocent but the Lord brought it to my heart. I figured “okay, I’ll deal with it.”

Once you have your list, start going through those one at a time and just say “Lord, I bring to mind this specific instance” whatever it is, so let’s just say example A. It’s like “Lord, I bring to you example A and I confess that that was sin and I believe that Satan has gained some sort of access to my life through that. I believe that there’s been some sort of soul tie in my heart because of that and I ask that you break that Lord. You break it by your blood. I trust that the power of Jesus on the cross is strong enough to break that soul tie. Lord, please let there be nothing in my heart that is drawing me away from you, nothing that is connecting me in an unholy way to anything other than you. Lord, by the power of your name, I ask you to break that.” And just go through one at a time on every one of those and I guarantee you, you’re going to find tremendous freedom.

If you want to go much deeper on this, because this is a huge, I mean this is a big thing. It’s more than we can talk about in the five-minute video. If you want to go much deeper in this, there’s resources in the notes below this video on my page. Go to beltoftruth.com/soulties. You’ll find the show notes for this page and I really encourage you to pick up a book, The Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson and also I’m going to list some podcast, some from Ransom Heart Ministries, talking even more on soul ties.

Either way, I wish you guys the best. I encourage you to do this. Don’t put this off. It’s a huge thing. If you’ve read my story, going through prayers like this was a major turning point in my story. I encourage you guys to do the same.

If you guys have any questions for me, as always go to www.beltoftruth.com/contact and there’ll be a form there. You can send me your questions anonymously. I’ll either get back through an email or if you’re fine with it, check the little box so I can answer your question with a video and who knows, maybe your question will be next.

Thanks guys! See ya!

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Steve McVey | You Have Always Belonged

“If belonging didn’t come first, nothing could be lost. This is true not only with sheep, coins, and rebellious sons. It’s true with humanity itself. As many others have said, before we were ever lost in Adam, we already belonged in Christ.”

Tim Challies | Children and Sleepovers: What Parents Need to Know

“Invariably, every time the article gets stirred up on Facebook, I receive scores of letters to the editor expressing either gratitude or disagreement. Broadly speaking, these letters fall into two categories—those who have had bad experiences with sleepovers and, therefore agree with my article, and those who have not had bad experiences with sleepovers and, therefore, disagree with my article.”

Anchored in Christ | 5 Reasons Why Union with Christ is a Foreign Doctrine to Today’s Church

“Union with Christ says that through the finished work of Christ, we have access to the all-powerful God we were once separated from, and that abiding in Jesus Christ means we let Christ live through us, directing our lives.”

Patheos | How the Church’s Hyper-fixation on Sex Has Distracted Us from Being Like Jesus

“For Christians, because Jesus is our role model and the fullest revelation of God, it would make sense to see what he had to say about sex—which is surprisingly little.”

The Bible Project: Galatians

DONE: You Have Been Granted Full Access to God

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most (Hebrews 4:16).

As a child of God, you have full access to God whenever you want. You can come before God and ask Him to help you with your struggles, give you His strength to make it through a difficult circumstance, or even give you His wisdom in a specific situation.

You can come before Him and ask Him anything.

Not only that, God actually wants you to come before Him with your needs and desires. He honestly cares about whatever is on your mind:

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you (1 Peter 5:7).

Think of it this way: How hard is it to be granted an audience with the president of the United States? Apparently, there isn’t even a clear path laid out for the average citizen to meet the president. The closest I could find was a page on the presidential website allowing you to enter a drawing to hopefully win an invitation to a dinner with him—but it expired four years ago. That leaves me the option of performing some amazing act of heroism that will gain me national attention, or winning the Super Bowl (I think those guys usually get a White House invitation).

But what if the president was my dad?

Do the president’s kids need to enter a contest to win dinner with their daddy? Nope. They can walk into the Oval Office and hang out with him pretty much whenever they want.

As a child of God, you’ve got the same level of access to Him as the president’s kids have to their dad. 

So come before God and let Him know what’s on your heart. He won’t reject you or push you away. He will accept you fully as His son, showering you with His unending mercy and grace.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Intentional Warriors | Recovery Sucks (Not Really)

“Naturally, staying clean is good, but doing so actually provides the chance for whole regions of the heart to surface from the murky depths. And that’s the point. “

Counseling One Another | 10 Things That Are True When I Confess My Sin

“Here we discover ten significant truths that you and I affirm every time we acceptably confess sin to God. Ponder these thoughts concerning God, sin, grace, forgiveness, and the sufficiency of Christ and his sacrificial work on your behalf.”

Steve McVey | God’s Heart for You

“From the instant of mankind’s creation, our God’s blessings didn’t depend on human service toward Him. God’s grace certainly motivates us to honor Him with acts of service, but His blessings are not the slightest bit contingent on our service to Him.”

Relevant | Infidelity Doesn’t Just Happen. It Starts with These Subtle Warnings

“Just as touch bridged the gap for infidelity to poke its nasty head in the case of the pastor and young lady, there are countless other nonverbal factors that if not stewarded well, have the potential to lead to marital infidelity.”

he Hound of Heaven: A Modern Adaptation

DONE: You Have Received Power, Love, and Self-Discipline

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline
(2 Timothy 1:7).

Last week, we looked at the first half of this verse and saw what God hasn’t given us: a spirit of fear and timidity.

This week, we get to look at what He has given us: a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.

First, those who are in Christ receive His power. No, this doesn’t mean you’ll instantly add 100 pounds to your squat the minute you hand your life over to Jesus. But it does mean you will have the power of Christ within you, equipping and enabling you to do whatever He calls you to do.

The best part about Christ’s power at work in you, is it means you no longer need to rely on your own power, which, if you’re being honest, is extremely limited. The power of Christ, however, is infinite.

Second, those who are in Christ receive His love. We are told that we love because He first loved us. In other words, apart from experiencing (and trusting) the love of Christ, we cannot effectively love others. We must receive it before we can offer it.

We can try to love others, but there will always be at least a small amount of self-interest driving your motivation. Under the surface, your love will always be given with the hope of receiving their love in return. (Not that there is anything wrong with receiving love. The problem is when your offer of love is conditional upon being loved in return).

Once you trust that the unconditional love of Christ applies to you, it frees you from needing to obtain validation from others. Your need for love will be fully met by Christ, and only then can you offer love to others completely free from any external motivation.

And finally, those who are in Christ are given a spirit of self-discipline. We often look at following Jesus as an outside-in process. If I change my behavior, my heart will become alive to Christ. In reality, following Jesus is an inside-out process. I must first submit my life to Christ and allow Him to redeem my heart and give me a new nature.

The message of Christ isn’t “Become a better person so I can love you.” No, the message of Christ is “You can’t become a better person, but because I love you in spite of your brokenness, I will make you a new person. And as a new person, you will have My spirit of self-discipline inside of you enabling you to change your behavior.”

We have power because His spirit of power empowers us.

We can love others because His spirit of love dwells in us.

We can resist temptation because He has given us His spirit of self-disciple.

So the next time you feel you need more power, more love, or more self-discipline, don’t look to your own ability to drum it up. Recognize that because the spirit of Christ dwells in you, you already have all the power, love, and self-disciple you will ever need.

Instead of trying to generate more of these things, I would encourage you to trust that you already have more than you will ever need.

Smart Quote: Burk Parsons

“To love is to give yourself to another. To lust is to want to take from another. Love gives, lust takes.” —Burk Parsons

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.