DONE: You Have Been Cleansed and Made Holy

Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God (1 Corinthians 6:11).

The most important thing in life, hands down, is to figure out how to be made right with God. If your life on earth comes to an end before that is taken care of, you will be separated from Him for all eternity.

That, my friend, is bad news.

What are we to do then? Well, step one is to recognize and acknowledge this separation between you and your Creator exists. But after that, then what?

Many people reach this point and conclude they must try harder, do better, buck-up and follow the rules as best they can. Ideally, at the end of their life they will have done more good than bad (or at least more good than most other people), and therefore God will welcome them into Heaven.

This is, in essence, what all religion teaches: Be a good person and you might get to go to a better place when you die. The problem with this though, is we can’t do it. We can’t become good people, at least not on our own.

Sure, you may consider yourself to be a good person, but are you perfect? Are you holy? Because the gap that exists between man and God can only be overcome if man is somehow made holy. And man, left to his own devices, can never become holy.

God knew man couldn’t clean himself up. He knew man couldn’t overcome the separation that existed between them. Yet God loves every single one of us so much He was willing to do whatever it took to remove the separation from us—even if it cost Him the life of His son.

And it did.

When you called on the name of Christ and reached out to Him to save you, Jesus made you clean. It had nothing to do with your ability to clean yourself up, follow the rules, or become a good person.

Jesus made you Holy.

Jesus made you right with God.

It was all because of Jesus.

That, my friend, is good news.

Smart Quote: Jack Miller

“Cheer up! You’re a worse sinner than you ever dared imagine, but you’re more loved than you ever dared hope.” —Jack Miller

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Desiring God: Homophobia Has No Place in the Church

“Simply put, homophobia means a fear of homosexuality and, more specifically, homosexual people. And while it is not the same as loving, biblical opposition to certain behaviors or beliefs, this fear-based attitude often leads to unhelpful stereotypes, prejudice, and even cruel mistreatment.”

ChristianityToday: The Gospel, Breaking Sinful Patterns, and Addiction

“People both inside and outside of our churches need help breaking sinful patterns in their lives. Our culture offers various ways to cope with addictions and issues, but only the gospel offers real freedom and transformation.”

XXXChurch: Five Ways To Be A Man When Dealing With Your Porn Habit

“There’s nothing un-manly about being honest with where you are. Actually, it’s quite manly to be honest, to share with others, to seek help. It shows that you’re comfortable being vulnerable, shows that you’re not afraid to show your weakness. There’s no shame in asking for help. It makes you more of a man.”

Storyline: Is Guarding Your Heart Really Protecting You?

“These small decisions seem meaningless but built up over time, as we choose resistance and safety over openness and risk, it becomes harder and harder to be open, harder and harder to risk.”

Key Life: Grace (In 90 Seconds)

DONE: You Have the Holy Spirit Living in You

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Did you know there is a difference between the laws of the Old Testament and the commissions of the New Testament epistles?

The laws of the Old Testament are telling us, “You must do this or else there will be punishment.” The commissions of the New Testament are telling us, “Because of the power of Christ within you, this is how you get to act now.”

See the difference?

The New Testament isn’t a bunch of additional rules and commands telling us how to live a good life for Jesus. It’s telling us who we are now that we are in Christ. The New Testament is telling us what it will look like when we let Jesus live His life through us.

Any time you find what appears to be a command in the New Testament epistles, look for an “in Christ” statement nearby. I’ve found it’s always close by. For example, look at the following verse from Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth:

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body (1 Corinthians 6:18).

How many times have you read that as a command telling you to resist sexual temptation by your own power…or else? But look at the two verses immediately following:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19–20).

Paul knew the church in Corinth hadn’t fallen back into sexual immorality because they were too weak to resist temptation. It was because they had forgotten who they were in Christ. They forgot they had the power of the Holy Spirit living within them.

Instead of telling them to shape up and knock off their bad behavior, Paul simply reminds them to remember who they are now that they are in Christ.

Likewise, if you are struggling with sexual immorality, it’s not because you are still a slave to sin, it’s because you have forgotten who you are in Christ. If you can remember that the Holy Spirit now lives within you, you can rely on Him to give you the power to honor God with your body.

Reader Q/A: Why is Pornography a Sin?

Question: You obviously think that pornography is a “sin,” but I guess I don’t understand why. Why does God think it’s such a big deal? It’s not like it’s hurting anyone for me to look at pictures of women.

Reader Q/AI’ve received this question (in various forms) multiple times. In order to answer it effectively, though, we need to look at this as three independent questions, which will help us better understand why pornography is a sin.

Why do I Think Pornography is a Sin?

The question should never be “What do I think?” The questions should always be “What does God think?” And God has made it clear that pornography is a sin:

You must not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14).

But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28).

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18).

So, to answer the question: I consider pornography to be sin because God says it is.

Why Does God Think Porn is Such a Big Deal?

Ultimately, this question stems from a misunderstanding of God’s reasoning for putting boundaries on our sexuality. God doesn’t prohibit the use of pornography in order to rob us from something fun. He is doing it to protect us from the pain, bondage, and ruin that will inevitably come from us inviting it into our lives.

God considers pornography to be a big deal because He knows our lives will be happier and more fulfilling if we avoid its snare. He prohibits it out of love, not out of a desire for control.

Why is it Bad if it’s Not Hurting Anyone?

This is the lie Satan wants us all to believe—that pornography is victimless. It’s nothing more than pictures on a screen accompanied by natural, biological urges.

In reality, though, pornography is extremely destructive. Just look at some of the ways it affected my own life (and the lives of those around me):

  • I reached a point where I preferred pornography over my beautiful, available, real-life spouse.
  • By pulling away from my wife sexually, I led her to believe there was something wrong with her, destroying her self-esteem.
  • It became impossible for me to have conversations with women without thinking of them sexually.
  • No matter how many times I tried to stop, I couldn’t. It was more addictive than any drug I had ever used.

If this still doesn’t convince you, take a look at the harsh realities of life within the porn industry. It’s a world full of sexual abuse, human trafficking, drug addiction, and unimaginable heartache. The women on your computer screen may appear to be enjoying themselves, but they are more than likely living in a nightmare.

If you honestly look at how pornography is effecting your life, the lives of those who are close to you, and the lives of the women you are watching, it becomes impossible to claim that pornography is harmless.

Putting it All Together

The answer to our question should now be more clear:

God labels pornography as sin because
He wants to protect you from the destruction  
it will cause if you allow it into your life.

The more you come to see God for who He really is—a loving father who only wants what is best for you—the easier it will be to trust that His boundaries are set where they are in order to protect you.

He wants you to live a life full of happiness, fulfillment, and joy. And the bottom line is, pornography will not help you achieve such a life. In fact, it will only rob you of it.

Thank you again for your question. I hope this answer helped bring you more clarity.

Grace and peace to you in Christ,
Stephen


If you have a question about pornography addiction, my personal story, or anything else for that matter, you can send it to me by filling out the form on the Contact page (or just click my picture in the sidebar on the right). I will do my best to answer every question personally and will never post your question without your permission.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Desiring God: You Are Not Damaged Goods

“When sexual history is revealed, both parties may feel betrayed for different reasons. Every sentence takes on the cadence of a threat — an ultimatum. Every question can land like a left hook.”

Gospel Coalition: How to Slay the Dragon of Pornography

“The pursuit of porn has bad consequences. We need no special insight to see it erodes relationships and never satisfies. But bad consequences aren’t enough to stop us. We must be ready with persuasive reasons to put up a fight, and then assemble those reasons into a story that has some of the following elements.”

CovenantEyes: 3 Truths to Help You Heal from Marital Betrayal

“If I could write down everything I learned on this journey I could fill a bookshelf, so I will try to narrow this down to some key lessons that proved extremely helpful for my healing.”

XXXChurch: What You Fear Most Will Heal You

“Nothing fuels addiction like secrecy and shame. Active in our addiction, we believe we are innately broken and unworthy of love. Unless we learn to give voice to our inadequacies and hidden transgressions amongst those who support us, our addiction will thrive.”

Rosaria Butterfield: What Christians Just Don’t Get About LGBT Folks

DONE: You Were Joined to the Lord

But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17).

When I read about being one with the Lord in Spirit, I immediately think back to the earthly example of this that God gives us all the way back in the Garden of Eden:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Yes, part of what this verse is talking about is the sexual union between a husband and wife, but it actually goes much, much deeper than that. As we see later when Jesus quotes this verse in his response to the Pharisees, this union is the literal joining together of two individuals by God.

Two separate persons becoming one in spirit.

As I write this, it’s been just over a week since my wedding. Needless to say, this idea of “two becoming one” has been on my mind a lot lately.

For the past year or so, I’ve been falling more and more in love with the woman who has now become my wife. During that time, I desired to learn everything I could about her, discover what makes her happy, and learn to avoid doing anything that might make her question why she keeps hanging out with me. I wanted to be with her as much as I could. Even if we were doing nothing together, at least we were together.

As great as this was, at the end of each day she would go back to her house or I would go back to mine, we deposited our paychecks into separate accounts, and we didn’t even have the same last name.

We were together, but we had not yet become one.

Today, however, thanks to the covenant of marriage, we are one. We now share the same house, the same bank account, and the same last name. Deeper than that though, our souls have been joined together by God. We have become one in spirit.

Yes, we are still two distinct individuals, but from here out, we will always be one entity: “The Kuhn’s.”

The same is true with you and Jesus.

There may have been a period before you trusted Christ when you we’re intersted in finding out more about Him—a time when you wished to discover if He truly was who He said He was.

Or perhaps you spent many years trying to impress Him with behavior and sacrifices in order to feel closer to Him (That was my story).

If you’ve never made the commitment of trusting Him as your savior though, you’ve only been courting Him. You’re still going home to separate houses each night.

If, however, you have trusted Jesus with your life, then you’ve already become one with Him in Spirit.

Your eternity has been fully aligned with His eternity.

Your debts were completely satisfied when He added His signature to your spiritual bank account.

Even your heavenly name has been changed to reflect who you are now that you’re in permanent union with Christ.

Everything changed for me the moment I pledged myself to my wife on our wedding day and the two of us became one in God’s eyes. As wonderful as this has been for us though, it is nothing compared to the eternal union we’ve received with our Lord and Savior.

And being able to know that we’ve been made one in spirit with the Lord, well, that is truly something worth celebrating

Smart Quote: D.L. Moody

"We can stand affliction better than we can prosperity, for in prosperity we forget God." —D.L. Moody

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Integrity Restored: My 7 Year Old Asked Me What Porn Was. Here’s What I told Him

“You see, It’s not a matter of if our kids will see porn, it’s a matter of when. And while good Internet filters and accountability software are a must, we need to help our children develop their own internal filter for the unfiltered world in which they live.”

Relevant: The Real Reason Shame Destroys Your Life

“When Adam and Eve’s shame was exposed in the garden, they both turned immediately inward. Adam shifted his attention away from God and Eve and toward the search for fig leaves to cover himself and to hide his shame. Eve did the same. Man and woman sought independence from God, lost interest in one another’s flourishing and looked out for number one.”

Crossway: You Can Change

“I want to be like Jesus. I can observe him in action as I read the Gospels. I can study the life he lived and the love he showed. I could try very hard to imitate him. But at best that would lead only to a small, short-lived improvement, and indeed even that small improvement would probably only make me proud. I need more than an example. I need help.”

For the Church: The One Ring and Pornography

“Pornography may seem to be a mainly erotic temptation, but its deepest appeal is spiritual. Viewers come for the titillation but they stay for the autonomy, the power to make an alternate reality in which mythological figures (actors and models) submit unhesitatingly.”

Odd Thomas: The Reality of the Resurrection

DONE: You Have Received Wisdom from God

God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin (1 Corinthians 1:30).

For the most part, school came fairly easily for me. I don’t recall ever getting a poor grade on a test or paper unless I purposefully chose to blow it off (which is a whole nother story). As long as I paid attention and read my assignments, I could get a decent grade without having to put in too much effort.

For an overly imaginative and creative kid like me, this was both a blessing and a curse. Sure, I could breeze through my homework quicker than most kids, which was a good thing. But then what was I supposed to do with all my free time?

In my younger years, I would typically play with Legos, read Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books, or draw epic Ninja Turtles vs. Star Wars battles. As I got older though, my decision-making skills seemed to regress.

Instead of building robots, I decided to stink-bomb the school cafeteria.

Instead of reading books, I chose to look at porn.

Instead of battling with action figures, I broke into cars for drug money.

The irony is, no matter how much trouble I got myself into, my grades never dropped. I remained on the honor roll at school despite all my poor decision-making.

I may have had a ton of knowledge, but I clearly didn’t have enough wisdom.

Wisdom is “the knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action”(1). You can know true facts about a million different things, but if you don’t know how to apply that information to your life, it’s just knowledge. Knowing facts and information may get you into the final round of Jeopardy, but it won’t help you navigate life unless you pair it with wisdom.

True wisdom, however, isn’t something you generate on your own. As Paul shows us in this verse, the source of true wisdom is Jesus: “God made [Christ] to be wisdom itself.”

Once again, Paul is speaking in the past tense. God made… It’s been done.

Furthermore, God did this for our benefit. He knew that many of the decisions we would be faced with in life would far exceed our pay-grades. Which is why He made Christ to be the embodiment of wisdom, placed Him within us, and granted us full access to everything we will ever need to know.

As Charles Ellicott says in his Commentary for English Readers:

“Christ became to us God’s revelation of Himself, thus giving us a wisdom from the source of all wisdom, which surpasses utterly any wisdom we could have derived from nature or from man” (2).

You can rest assured that God will never bring you to a tough decision only to leave you hanging. If you find yourself in a situation where you need wisdom, remember that Wisdom itself already lives inside of you. All you need to do is ask for it. He will make your path clear or give you the words to say.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that God’s widom far exceeds my own. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I have a feeling my decision to stink-bomb the school cafeteria wouldn’t have seemed like such a great idea if I’d sought the Lord’s wisdom first.

But then again, if I had asked Him, I probably would have missed out on all those fun hours I spent staring at the wall of the detention room.