Belt of Truth Ministries

Weekly Web (W)roundup

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Weekly Web (W)roundup |

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Covenant Eyes | Theology of the Body: On Sex and the Meaning of Life

“When we don’t know our life’s purpose or forget our identity, it becomes so easy to engage in activities that compromise who we’ve been created to be. And for those caught in porn’s grip, I believe that the Theology of the Body can help you understand and remember your identity and purpose and help you put porn in your past.”

Ransomed Heart | Your Spouse is Not the Enemy

“We all feel from time to time that we have an enemy, but who would we say that is? Our spouse—right? Sometimes you just walk into the room and see them and they feel like the enemy. ‘One day out of three,’ a friend cynically said to me.”

Your Mom Has a Blog | There is a Better Way to Experience Sexuality, and Christian Parents Need to Be Talking About It

“We have to teach our kids that one of the greatest gifts of God is the intimacy between a man and a woman who have committed themselves to loving every inch of each other’s heart and soul. We have to teach them that great sex is safe sex, in the arms of the person who has vowed to hold us up when we need it, who has promised that no illness or accident, no outside interest, no schemes of this world will separate us. We have to show them what it looks like to be in love.”

Gospel Coalition | The Hypocrisy of Phariseephobia

“The Pharisee and the heterosexual-and-proud-of-it person, the prostitute and the homosexual person—all are equally human and equally fallen. Each of us owes a great debt we can’t pay on our own. Jesus never intended for the church to spend time ranking sins on a scale. Instead of asking ‘Which sin is greater?’ we should instead proclaim that God’s grace is greater than any sin.”

Max Lucado | He Thinks You’re Wonderful

The Moment You Trust Christ: You are Identified as God’s Own

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Smart Quotes |

Weekly Web (W)roundup

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Weekly Web (W)roundup |

Key Life | How Can I Be Assured of My Salvation?

“Grace is a function of God’s love; it is not based on our actions or behavior. As Christians, we have been called to live in the freedom of Christ—His gift to us. The fact is, as hard as it is to accept at certain times, Christ has already paid for our sin, struggles and guilt. Shame should lead us back to God, but it often causes us to turn from Him.”

AndSons | It Takes Two

“That is something I hope to emulate in my marriage: the ability to have long-term vision, to see beyond small seasons and small fights in the car, to know that what is truly lasting are the choices I make for the health of my family and my wife. It’s easy for me to get sucked into a new season and to think it is the ultimate season, the only thing that is real, but when I remember that we have come through so much already and have so much life ahead, I am able to live better.”

Jared Wilson | His Eye is on the Sasquatch

“I like that God teases us with these mysteries. So long as the mystery of Christ has been revealed, and we have all that we need to be saved and to work out that salvation, I am totally cool with these little misty visions haunting the created order, always one step ahead of us, peeking around trees, leaving mushy footprints, stray hairs, sketchy images. They help me delight in God’s delight. They help me remember this world is wondrous, and it belongs to the God who spoke the cosmos into being without breaking a sweat.”

Princeton University | At the cellular level, a child’s loss of a father is associated with increased stress

“The absence of a father — due to incarceration, death, separation or divorce — has adverse physical and behavioral consequences for a growing child. But little is known about the biological processes that underlie this link between father loss and child well-being.”

Stories of Grace | D C Williams

The Moment You Trust Christ: Your Roots are Planted in Fertile Soil

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Smart Quotes |

Are You Defining Yourself by Your Sexuality?

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Identity |

What if I asked, Who are you?, how would you respond?

If you’re like most people, you would tell me your age, current job, or even a list of hobbies you enjoy. If you’re a parent, you would surely tell me about your kids. And if you got more comfortable with me, you might even share that you’re gay, straight, transgender, or bisexual. After all, there does seem to be a growing pressure in our society to define yourself by your sexual preferences.

But what if your sexuality isn’t the best way to define yourself?

When we think of sexuality, it’s tempting to view it as a collection of different boxes. For example, look at the following image:

Most people can place themselves in whichever box they identify with. To do so, however, can lead you to become attached to that particular box. In other words, you can allow the box you’re in to define your identity.

For example, let’s say you identify yourself as a lesbian. By making that a defining characteristic of who you are, much of your life will be interpreted from within that box. If you hear someone claim God’s plan for marriage is for one man and one woman (a paradigm that doesn’t fit within your box) it will feel like a personal attack.

Or, what if you identify as a gay man, but find yourself drawn towards a woman? You might question those feelings based on the understanding that you’re supposed to be attracted to men and write the desire off as an anomaly. You may reject it based on how you understand your box, not on what your heart is telling you.

By defining yourself based on your sexual attractions, you’re allowing something that is designed to be only one part of you to become the driving force in your life. Rather than asking how your sexuality fits in with who you are, you may be trying to fit who you are into your sexuality.

Photo by Mario Mancuso | Flickr CC

A Better Way to Define Yourself

Your sexual attractions certainly do help describe you, but it’s important to never let them define you. In order to figure out what does define you—your true identity—you first need to understand who God says you are. After all, He’s the one who made you, so He is the only one with the authority to tell you who you truly are.

Thankfully, all throughout Scripture, there are dozens of examples of God telling you His definition of you. Any time you see the phrase “in Him,” or “in Christ,” it’s a description of how God sees you from the first moment you trust Jesus. For example:

You are a child of God (1 John 3:1)
You are eternally connected to His love (Romans 8:38-39)
Your sins are all forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)
You have become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
You are no longer condemned for anything (Romans 8:1)

The best part is this identity is available to everyone who puts his or her trust in Jesus. On top of that, it’s not a box you have to earn the right to enter, because He already paid the admission for anyone who accepts it.

It should be noted, however, that receiving this new identity doesn’t mean your sexuality will change instantly. Transformation is a life-long process, and God may or may not decide that your sexuality is His first priority. Odds are good though, that He will change the lens through which you interpret it.

Interpreting Your Sexuality from Your True Identity

Rather than identifying yourself by your sexuality, I’d encourage you to first define yourself as a child of God, and then ask which of the following categories your sexuality fits into: Pistis, or Porneia?

Pistis is the greek word used throughout the Bible for faithfulness (and in this case, the purity that results from it). Now, this isn’t the white-knuckle, resist-temptation-through-sheer-willpower external purity many of us grew up chasing, but the internal purity that only comes from trusting Jesus to transform the deepest desires of your heart.
Porneia, however, is any sexual activity outside of God’s established boundaries. There has been much debate on what exactly that entails, but I trust if you’re truly seeking to be pistis, anything that falls under porneia will become clear to you.

The important thing to realize about these categories, however, is they aren’t boxes—they’re trajectories: opposite ends of a line you can move between with varying levels of speed and velocity.

For example, imagine a pastor of a growing church with a loving wife and a couple of kids at home. He’s very outspoken about his conservative political views on marriage, and has preached multiple times on the evils of lust and sexual sin. Recently, however, he’s discovered a strong draw towards pornography, but he’s ignoring it hoping that it will go away. In reality, he knows it’s pulling him further away from his wife and causing him to feel increasingly distant from God. He may seem closer to pistis at the moment, but he’s quickly moving towards porneia.

On the other hand, imagine two women in a committed relationship who hear the message of God’s love for them and wholeheartedly receive it. They both recognize their need for a Savior and choose to trust Jesus, yet they decide to remain together as they pursue a deeper understanding of what it means to be disciples of Christ. Many would place them near porneia, but they’re moving towards pistis quickly.

These examples illustrate how, when it comes to being either pistis or porneia, the direction in which you are moving is more important than where you (or others) would place yourself currently.

Furthermore, no matter which direction you’re headed, it will never change your truest, deepest identity as a forgiven, accepted, unconditionally loved child of God. Once you’re in that box, you’re there for eternity.

So, instead of defining yourself as gay, what if you defined yourself as a child of God who happens to be attracted to other men?

Instead of identifying first as bisexual, what if you grounded your identity in the fact that God loves you unconditionally?

After all, God sees you as so much more than your sexuality. What would happen if you did the same?

Stephen Kuhn is the author multiple books, including 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn, and DONE. 52 Amazing Things That Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ.

You can find out more about his ministry and read his story here.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Weekly Web (W)roundup |

Key Life | It Hurts to Love You

“Christians, do you understand that it would be easier to love you, and you would be free if you would just own your offenses, and admit it when you have been using people instead of loving them? As it stands, it is easier to love you from a distance because it hurts too much to love you up close.”

Experimental Theology | Burning Love is the Outcry of the Heart

“The chilling of love means that the heart is silent; while burning love is the outcry of the heart. If your love is without ceasing, you are crying out always; if you always cry out, you are always desiring; and if you desire, you are calling to mind your eternal rest in the Lord.”

A Small Work | Christian Discipleship for the Rest of Us

“You see, grace is for everyone. It’s certainly for those who don’t yet know Jesus, who need to run to him for forgiveness, love, and righteousness. But grace is for Christians, too. Put more strongly, grace is not just available for believers, it’s essential. How could we begin following Jesus by grace and continue on without it?”

J.D. Greer | Marriage Is Not About You; Divorce Is All About You

“When I know that marriage is about God, I’ll stick it out in hard times, because I know God’s name, not my needs, is the ultimate thing of importance.”

TrueFace | The Path

The Moment You Trust Christ: You are Made Complete

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Smart Quotes |

Weekly Web (W)roundup

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Weekly Web (W)roundup |

Brad Hambrick | Marriage Impacted by Pornography or Adultery? Help for Both Spouses

“When sexual sin impacts a marriage there is often a great deal of confusion exacerbated by shame. A couple is not sure what to do and is embarrassed to ask for help. The result is often either passivity (pretending everything is okay or that things will get better without help) or reactivity (taking a bold action with little sense of purpose or intent to follow through).”

Relevant | Jesus Isn’t Looking for ‘Good’ People

“We will always be flawed as human beings, but it’s when we begin to think we can handle things on our own that we start to fail. We begin to lose our peace, direction and feel like we need to work for salvation. When we start to feel this way, it’s a sign that we may be striving by our own power and not resting in His power and promises.”

Fierce Marriage | Fight for Unity, Fight for Your Marriage

“Fighting for unity means protecting yourselves from division and divisive people. This is especially true if you’re going through a hard time.”

TrueFace | Two Roads

[Sermon] A Few Good Men: What it Means to be a Role Model, and How our Lives become Honorable.

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Speaking/Media |

Audio | Sunday Summary

SPEAKER

Steve Kuhn

SCRIPTURE

Philippians 2:19-30

BIG IDEA

The Spirit of Christ within you empowers you to live an honorable life.

OUTLINE

What makes one worthy of honor?

Genuine care for others
Kingdom Mindset
Sacrificial service
Obedience and Trustworthiness

Honor is not about what you do, it’s about who you are (and Whose you are).

The Moment You Trust Christ: You are Set Free from the Law

By Stephen Kuhn | Filed Under: Smart Quotes |