My One Thing: Adam Palmer

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Transcript

Steve: Guys, Steve Kuhn here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’ve got Adam Palmer on the line. Adam is a pastor and co-author of the book GO SMALL with Craig Gross. Adam, thanks for your time. I’ve got a question for you I’ve been asking a bunch of folks out there, and that’s what’s one piece of advice that you would give to somebody struggling with porn addiction?

Adam: One piece of advice to give to somebody struggling with porn addiction, really it’s a 2-part answer because I’m going to cheat, and the answer would be in order to deal with that, you have to give up, but don’t give up. Let me break that down for just a second. What you have to give up is you have to give up this sort of sense that this thing is something that you need in your life, that you can’t get by without it, these voices in your head that tell you “it’s inevitable. You’re going to go looking for it, you might as well give in today.” You have to give that up. You have to give up those feelings because they’re not honest. They’re not true. They’re not real. They feel real in the moment, but in actuality they’re not. So you have to give that stuff up. But then you also don’t give up. What you don’t give up is you don’t give up the daily, day in, day out, checking in, making sure you’re keeping yourself accountable, making sure that you’re taking all the steps that you need every day to continue to walk in health, because really what you’re doing is you’re not trying to get rid of something. Really, what you’re trying to do is you’re trying to make healthier choices for yourself, for your faith, for your family. I like to think of it sort of in terms of eating. I’m in this process right now of really trying to change my overall relationship with food. I used to have a very unhealthy relationship with food, where if I had a craving for something, I would go get it and eat it because I wanted to. Generally, I crave stuff that wasn’t good for me – sweets, high fat content, that type of stuff. But what I realized is that I needed to change the way that I thought about it, and I need it to make healthier choices, not because I want to lose weight. That’s a great side benefit, but because I want to have a healthy life. I want to live long enough to see my children grow up and get married and have grand kids. I want to meet my great grand kids. And I know that if I kept making the choices that I was making, that wasn’t going to happen. And so I had to give up those choices. I had to give up listening to those cravings and give up those immediate sort of things felt like gratification but that in actuality were very unhealthy for me. And I have to think long-term now. While I gave up that stuff, what I’m doing is I’m changing my framework and I’m changing my mindset, and I’m saying “now I’m on this track for longevity, I’m on this track for overall long-term health, and so I need to stay on that and not give up.” And it’s the same way when you’re dealing with an addiction to porn. You have to change what’s going on in your mind and you have to start reframing everything and start thinking “what does a healthy sexuality look like to me and what can I do to maintain that?” And then you stay on that track and then you don’t give that up.

Steve: Oh I get it, so give up but don’t give up.

Adam: Exactly.

Steve: I think that’s great advice. Thanks, Adam. Tell people where they can find out more about you online.

Adam: Online, my author website is AdamPalmerAuthor.com. Generally, I spend most of my time though on Twitter, which is where you can find me there as @ThatAdamPalmer. But I did give up Twitter for Lent. So if you want to come find me there, I’m not going to be talking to you until after Easter.

Steve: By the time this video is up, it will be well past Lent. I’m sure. Thanks again for your time and I’ll let you get back to your kids.

Adam: Thanks.

Steve: See you, Adam.

Adam: Take care.