“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”
David Zailer is the Executive Director for Operation Integrity and author of the books Our Journey Home and When Lost Men Come Home (not for men only).
Connect with David:
Twitter: @opintegrity
Check out all the “One Thing” video interviews here.
Transcript:
Steve: Hey guys! Steve here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’m on the line with David Zailer, executive director of Operation Integrity and author of Our Journey Home and When Lost Men Come Home. David, what’s the one piece of advice that you give to somebody struggling with porn addiction?
David: Well first of all I think it’s important to stop the flow. Our technology – our smartphones, our tablets, laptops – had become vodka bottles for most of us. I think it’s very important that we make our machines and make our technology safe. I personally use Covenant Eyes. I know that there’s a lot of programs out there that are set to deter us but I think it’s essential that the unbroken lead and the unbroken access to unfiltered pornography is cut off. Not to do that makes our machines – our laptops and our phones – makes it equivalent of a vodka bottle that an alcoholic is carrying in its vest pocket, promising himself he’s never going to drink it, and we all realize that’s silly. It doesn’t make sense. That man needs to get rid of that vodka bottle. I think it’s very important to people who’s struggling with porn or sex addiction – stop the free, unmitigated access. That’s the first step. If I had to say one thing, that would certainly be the starting point. Problem there, and this is also a part of that piece, is that people need to get into a group. They need to get in a relationship where they have the opportunity and the environment with which they can start talking honestly about themselves, about their struggle, and where they also can find connected with other people who are honestly sharing about their lives as well. You asked me for one thing, I gave you two, but those to me are basic fundamental non-negotiable essentials.
Steve: Great! Yeah, and I would agree with giving those together because they really are two sides of the same coin. And that’s why I love software, like you mentioned Covenant Eyes. I know X-ray Watch does the same thing. It’s not just filtering. It’s accountability. And so the software not only helps you block the income of the inappropriate material but it also sets you up with somebody that’s going to be checking in on you and saying “oh I saw you were clicking around here. What’s going on?” It really opens that door to accountability as well.
David: I think the term accountability, especially in a cryptic culture, has become somewhat of a meaningless buzzword. Accountability starts with relationship. It starts with relationships that offer encouragement, and they had credibility. Here’s my smart phone. My board of directors gets my Covenant Eyes report. I’m not alone. I know whenever I’m accessing my email or I’m going online or anything, same thing with my tablet, same thing with my laptop, essentially my board or directors are there with me. My board of directors obviously are accountable because they’re all good dear friends of mine. I know, and I think this is the core essential about accountability, accountability if it’s just about not getting caught, you will find a way around it. The relationship behind accountability it is one of support, it’s one of encouragement. It’s like these people are not here to catch me. They’re here to support me. They’re not here to rebuke me or straighten me out. They’re here to love me and to guide me and to prevent a fall or if I do fall, to keep it from falling further. When we talk about accountability, I think those are important things to talk about, because if it’s just about getting caught, then we’re going to start manipulating and finding a way around it.
Steve: Yeah. Covering up so we don’t get caught. Thanks for sharing that, David. Tell people where they can find out more about you and your books and ministry and all that.
David: I have two books on the market. When Lost Men Come Home, not for men only. That’s the book that addresses sexual addiction and recovery from sexual and porn addiction. Amazon, any major book sellers, it’s available there. My other book’s Our Journey Home. That is one speaks to all different kinds of dynamics about addiction. It’s a 12-step big platform. It’s often used in small groups or devotional tools when they’re counseling a therapeutic application. It’s also available on Amazon and book sellers as well. People can reach me through operationintegrity.org. That’s the website. They can also follow me on Twitter and Facebook.
Steve: Okay. Thanks again for your time and keep up the good work. Thanks, David.
David: Thank you, Stephen, and thank you for your great work. I’m glad to get to know you.
Steve: Yeah no problem. You too. See you.
