Every now and then a song comes up on my iPod and it completely wrecks me.
Typically, it’s a worship song that reminds me of God’s love, making His presence seem even more intense in that moment.
Often, it’s my favorite Johnny Cash song, reminding me of the broken and pain-filled past Jesus has rescued me from.
Sometimes though, it’s a song that breaks my heart not out of happiness, but out of sadness.
Morrissey’s “I Have Forgiven Jesus” is one of these songs.
I’ve been hooked on Morrissey since my roommate introduced me to his music back in college. As much as I love his music though, the emotional honesty he puts into his lyrics makes it hard for me to listen at times. I can’t help but hurt for him when I hear him sing about the pain and rejection that has defined his life.
The sad part though, is some of that pain doesn’t need to be there. I don’t say this to minimize anything that may have happened to him in the past (after all, I do not actually know the man or what he has been through). What I do mean, is that some of Morrissey’s pain comes from a misunderstanding of how Jesus views him. If He came to know the truth in this area, his pain would be replaced by the freedom, joy, and peace that everyone is longing for.
I doubt I will ever get a chance to talk about these things with Morrissey, but if I did, I would want to share with him these three life-changing truths:
1. Jesus never has, and never will, desert you.
Forgive me any pain I may have brung to you
With God’s help I know I’ll always be near to you
But Jesus hurt me when He deserted me.
—I Have Forgiven Jesus—
Yes, we all make mistakes in life, and many of these mistakes will cause pain to others—even to Jesus. But as Jesus hung on the cross in agonizing emotional and physical pain, what did He say to God regarding the men who were causing Him pain in that moment?
He offered them forgiveness. Not only that, He continued to go through with the plan to rescue these very men, even though it would cost Him His own life to do so.
If Jesus was willing to forgive these men and stick with them even as they were torturing and mocking Him, I’m pretty sure you can trust Him to stick with you no matter what sort of pain you may have caused Him.
37 Those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them (John 6:37).
2. Jesus loves you, and He made you to be a lover as well.
Why did you give me so much desire
When there is nowhere I can go to offload this desire?
And why did you give me so much love in a loveless world
When there’s no one I can turn to to unlock all this love?
—I Have Forgiven Jesus—
I could be wrong, but when I read these lyrics as one who has struggled with sexual addiction, I hear the same question I wrestled with for years: Why did God give me such a strong desire for love and intimacy and then tell me not to have sex until I was married? What a jerk move.
Unfortunately, these thoughts were actually pulling me away from the only thing that ever could truly satisfy the desires that consumed me.
If you believe that love, sex, and intimacy are all the same thing, you will inevitably begin to question God’s goodness. You will view Him as a cruel and controlling master, much like a man holding a carrot just beyond the reach of a donkey. It will seem as if God has put these desires in you and then forbids you to satisfy them.
The truth though, is God made you to be a lover, which is why you have this strong desire to love and to be loved. This love isn’t sexual though, it’s sacrificial. True love is always about what you can do for others, not what others can do for you. (Tweet this!)
This type of love isn’t something you can produce on our own. It’s something that is only unlocked when you trust Jesus to produce it though you.
19 We love each other because He loved us first (1 John 4:19).
If you can come to trust God’s unconditional love for you, your ability to love (and to be loved) will suddenly come alive.
3. Jesus doesn’t hate you.
And why did you stick me in self-deprecating bones and skin?
Jesus, do you hate me? Do you hate me? Do you hate me?
—I Have Forgiven Jesus—
You are correct in looking at your flesh and wondering why it controls you as it does. In fact, the Apostle Paul made the same observation about his own flesh:
15 What I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate… 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh (Romans 7:15,18).
Yes, nothing good can come from your flesh. No matter how hard any of us try, none of us can overcome the sinful desires within our bodies. But before we get too down on that reality, we need to also look at what Paul says next:
24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:24-25)
The truth is, Jesus doesn’t stick you in self-deprecating bones and sin—He wants to free you from them! He came to rescue you from your flesh, not condemn you for it. (Tweet this!)
In fact, the very next verse reminds us that “there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1)
How can Jesus hate you if He doesn’t even condemn you? The truth is, He can’t.
And why would He purchase your freedom from sin and death with His own life only to turn around and resent you? He won’t.
No matter what you have done, it will never separate you from the love of Jesus.
Nothing will ever cause Jesus to hate you. That’s the beauty of His undying love for you.
•••
You have given all of us a gift, Morrissey, with your music and honesty. For that I thank you.
If you’re ever passing though Oregon, let me know. I’d love to buy you a cup of coffee.
Don’t worry, I won’t talk about Jesus the whole time. But I will remind you that Jesus doesn’t hate you, He hasn’t rejected you, and He loves you more than you know.
And I believe I can speak for all of your fans when I say we do as well.
Wherever you are…Don’t lose faith.
—I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday—
