Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

The Blazing Center: You Can’t Shame People into Repentance

“[S]hame isn’t redemptive. Shaming doesn’t bring believers closer together in fellowship. Shame doesn’t lead believers in paths of repentance and righteousness. Rather, shame causes people to hide. It causes them to withdraw. To disappear.”

Relevant: Kingdom Come

“Once we catch a glimpse of what God plans for the Kingdom, we can begin to implement that vision in the here-and-now—beginning in our churches and in our homes and in our worship.”

XXXChurch: The Secret To Finding Real Freedom

“At the height of my addiction, I was trying the same things over and over hoping that one day they would just click if I just got my theology correct or if I was just more honest with my accountability partner. But my search was for something far more profound than simply perfecting the next tool.”

Desiring God: Joy Changes Everything

“[I]f Paul is to be believed, the task of motivating and equipping Christians for service is neither more nor less than the ordinary, stated work of pastor-teachers; and if Nehemiah is to be believed, the primary way to achieve that object is by filling their hearts with joy; which in turn means filling their minds with constant reminders of the breadth and depth and length and height of the love of Christ.”

Grace Covers Me: How do We Grow by the Holy Spirit Rather than by Self-Effort?

“One path to spiritual growth is me-centered and demands instant change. The other is God-centered and requires persistent faith. Growth by the Holy Spirit almost seems counterintuitive, but I can attest in my own life that I’ve seen deep and lasting growth as I’ve resisted myself and looked for His leadership.”

Covenant Eyes: How to Overcome the Flesh

“I fear we’ve bred a generation of believers whose souls are fixated in the way they shouldn’t go. My personal experience and the experience I have ministering to men is that most Christians are inherently focused on the ‘nots’ and ‘don’ts.’ We are acutely aware of what we shouldn’t be doing, what we shouldn’t be thinking, how we don’t measure up, what we don’t have, how we fall short, what we haven’t done, what we aren’t doing, etc. But God isn’t interested in what you’re not. He’s interested in who you are.”

Sam Allberry: The Story of a Same-Sex Attracted Pastor and Husband

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Desiring God: My Sin, Not in Part, But the Whole

“Christ didn’t come to just forgive our ‘more respectable’ sins. He didn’t absorb the wrath of God on behalf of our ‘smaller’ sins. Instead, he came and has forgiven all of our sins. This is how we are able to be honest with the depth of our sinfulness, because we trust that God will cover us with the depths of his mercy.”

KeyLife: Grace Goes All the Way Down

“In our churches too often we believe the way people change is by receiving more instruction. Instruction is good, and we need it. There’s lot of instructions in the Bible, and we shouldn’t ignore them. But the way the Bible says people actually change, deep down in the heart, where the sincerity is seated that makes our behavior worship of God instead of worship of self, is by believing in the gospel.”

Steve McVey: Do Grace and Truth Need to Be Kept in Balance?

“If you’re going to draw a line, draw it between grace and legalism—not between grace and truth. The Bible plainly puts grace and truth on the same side of the line, in Jesus.”

Russell Moore: Why Porn Kills Sex

“Why does it seem that pornography ultimately kills sexual intimacy? There are, to be sure, many psychological explanations. Pornography desensitizes one to sexual stimuli, feeds the quest for endless novelty, and creates a script of expectations that does not, and cannot, meet up to the real dynamics of personal relationship. But I think there’s more afoot here.”

Gospel Coalition: The Modern Man and His Fantasy World

“In recent years I have noticed a trait, particularly among men, where faith is impeded. I am talking about the cultural fixation upon fantasy. Many man today are wrapped up in a world of fantasy and also find it increasingly difficult to live by faith upon the God who is invisible.”

Andrew Wilson: Who Gave Paul His Thorn?

“So who gave Paul his thorn? God, and Satan, but with thoroughly different agendas. Satan, we may surmise, wanted to destroy him. God wanted to humble him, and throw him back onto divine grace. ”

Josh Garrels: At The Table

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Christianity Today: What an Obscure Old Testament Figure Reveals about Us Gentiles

“With this list of characters, it’s no wonder we overlook Obed-Edom. His obscure name is a compound of two other names—Obed, David’s grandfather, and Edom, Esau’s nickname. No doubt, many of us would have to Google him to figure out who he was. Yet he beautifully illustrates what has happened to us—especially us Gentiles—through Jesus.”

XXXChurch: 3 Reasons Why You Might Need Porn Counseling

“So how do you know if you have a serious porn problem that requires professional help? Here are just three examples.”

Brad Hambrick: An Open Letter to Someone Having an Affair

“Let’s start with this reality: you are going to choose. You are going to choose to pursue a life with your spouse (and children, if you have them) or your adultery partner (with your children passing between homes in a blended family, if you have them). Unless you delay until your spouse and/or adultery partner abandons you, you will make a choice between these two options.”

Gospel Coalition: Gandalf, Job, and the Indignant Love of God

“Bilbo has mistaken Gandalf’s aggressive, forceful stance as a raw assertion of power. In his blindness over the ring, he makes accusations against Gandalf and impugns his character, his care, and his concern. But the indignation of love elicits Gandalf’s fire. He’s angry, yes, because of the foolishness of Bilbo in thinking he could challenge him, but even more for thinking he had to—for thinking he couldn’t trust him. Gandalf’s anger at the hobbit’s accusation demonstrates his indignant love.”

CovenantEyes: 3 Reasons Deception is More Destructive than Porn for Your Wife

“A fundamental breach of trust in a marriage brings everything into question. Wholeheartedly trusting someone to love and protect your heart and to act in your best interest is foundational for marriage. Having that trust violated is an act of intimate betrayal.”

And Sons: Small Stories

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

CovenantEyes: “Great Prayers” God Can’t Answer

“As I coach men out of addiction, I regularly see wrong patterns of thinking that God had to correct in my own heart before I was able to navigate clear of lust. So many earnest believers who hate this sin cry out year after year, praying ‘wrong’ prayers and wondering why God isn’t answering their prayers and helping them. After a while, they are tempted to become callous and jaded, wondering if God even cares or if they are really saved and if they are simply beyond hope.”

My Only Comfort: The Modesty Debate

“The assumption of the modesty debate is that men are creatures of lust who can’t help it – especially if a woman is dressed immodestly. Really, it’s her fault. The woman who you put in front of me, Lord, she gave it to me and I did look.”

Storyline: What to Do When Life Hasn’t Turned Out How You Wanted

“f you (or someone you know) struggle with feeling not good enough because of things you did or things done to you, below are some steps that helped me find freedom and the courage to rewrite my story.”

Six Seeds: The Day My Marriage Blew Up

“Most men have no idea where these feelings come from. Many try not to feel anything at all. Some are so skilled at denying their emotions they aren’t even aware they exist. Very few men know how to deal with their feelings in a healthy way.”

Relevant: What Victims of Sexual Abuse Need to Hear From Christians

“An abuse story told, no matter how difficult it is for the one telling it, is merely an announcement that a crime has taken place in their mansion. The story acknowledges, to some degree, why the mansion is in such disrepair, while making it clear that there are many locked rooms, barricaded wings, and trashed hallways that in due season will need to be engaged, but only when and if the person is ready.”

Bible Project: The Image of God

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Cripplegate: Behavior Modification vs. Repentance

“Jesus knows a few things about humanity and the nature of personal change. The source of our thoughts, words, and behavior is not our bad day, lack of sleep, missing our workout, environmental conditions, or other circumstances ultimately. Sure, these things might make things harder. But the origin of what we do is our hearts. So, if we are going to truly change, it needs to start there.”

Samuel D. James: Evangelicals and Toxic Masculinity

“I don’t believe that historic Christian doctrines about marriage or sexuality cause toxic masculinity. I do, however, believe that sin causes it, and the conclusion that I’ve come to is the conclusion that I heard years ago and ignored: The American evangelical church has a blind spot when it comes to the sinful way our culture thinks of manhood.”

Momastery: Pe-Tish-ion

“When I was little — I looked at the one size fits none standard of beauty and thought: ‘There’s something wrong with me.’ And Tish will look at the same crap and say: ‘There’s something wrong with THAT.’”

Russel Moore: If You’ve Cheated, Should You Tell Your Spouse?

“Sometimes the act of confessing to a wife or husband seems like it would do more harm than good. I once got a letter from a man who said he committed adultery years ago, but the affair had lasted only a week and he had repented to God and others. The reason he was unsure about confessing to his wife was that the marriage was already going through difficulty, and he was deeply concerned that a bombshell like this would end the marriage and harm the children.”

Beautiful Eulogy: The String That Ties Us

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Forward Progress: I am Barabbas

“And now we stand with this man. Suddenly freed from condemnation. Blinking our prison-darkened eyes in the light of the sun of liberty. Facing the penalty of death, we now surprisingly stand free. Free to work. Free to enjoy. Free to live.”

Steve McVey: The Needless Search

“In Him the search for significance is over. For anybody to keep looking for for value through what he does is a waste of time and completely unnecessary. You have been joined to Perfection through your adoption in Jesus Christ. He defines you.”

Dave Willis: 5 Things I Want My Kids to Know about Gender Identity

“The quest to find our ‘gender identity’ is really just another quest to find our ‘identity.’ We’re all longing to know who we are and why we’re here.”

Christianity Today: 3 Tips for Reaching the Dechurched

“To reach the dechurched, we have to understand them. And, as I see the dechurched, there are two main groups—the open and closed. How we seek to reach a dechurched person should be determined, in part, by which group they’re from.”

CCEF: “Abba, Father!” The Cry of God’s Children

“Sometimes for Christians, there is another loss beneath our suffering and it makes everything even worse. It’s the loss that comes with the feeling that we are not really God’s children. Because if we really were his children, if we really got the gospel, our other losses wouldn’t touch us so deeply.”

CovenantEyes: How to Deal with Shame and Guilt Following Pornography

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

CCEF: Satan’s Strategies

“We live in an era when Satan’s power is limited but he still prowls around like a lion. Our security remains a major concern. These are just some of the clear ways that the Spirit prepares us.”

XXXChurch: The Biggest Lie Women Believe

“Shame has a powerful grip on the mind of a woman addicted to porn. If she is the only woman struggling with this, she is out of the ordinary. Out of 7.4 billion humans, she happens to be the freak. The odd one out. She doesn’t fit the feminine mold, so there must be something irredeemably wrong with her. Shame becomes her blanket. It is the only way of making sense of her experience.”

DesiringGod: Six Truths for Dating Someone with a Sexual History

“The one who has his or her own sexual history faces their own challenges. The twin emotions of dating someone with a sexual history, though, are insecurity and obsession. Insecurity, because you feel exposed and already judged when you feel the weight of your partner’s regret and struggle to process what their sins mean for you. Obsession, because you want to let the past be the past, but only after your own morbidly detailed investigation — and because you stubbornly refuse to be rejected and overlooked for the purity which you’ve guarded so diligently.”

CovenantEyes: 4 Things to Remember About Your Husband’s Porn Problem

“While your marriage may have issues (because every marriage has issues at one point or another), you are not the reason your husband or wife decided turning to porn was a good idea. Chances are, porn was an issue for your spouse before you even entered the picture.”

KeyLife: Healing the Wounded Heart

“Join Dr. Dan Allender on Steve Brown, Etc. for a discussion of his new book, Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation. If you have suffered sexual harm, you can dare to believe that evil doesn’t get the last word.”

Pete Wilson: God Celebrates the Steps and Heals the Falls

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

The Blazing Center: You Can’t Shame People Into Repentance

“Shaming doesn’t bring believers closer together in fellowship. Shame doesn’t lead believers in paths of repentance and righteousness. Rather, shame causes people to hide. It causes them to withdraw. To disappear.”

Gospel Coalition: How I Discovered True Masculinity

“I really thought whatever god was responsible for creating me must have been a little drunk when he pieced me together. I never felt like a woman, nor did I want to be one, but I also didn’t feel like a man. I felt other, which made me feel inferior to other males and uncomfortable around them.”

Christianity Today: What an Obscure Old Testament Figure Reveals about Us Gentiles

“With this list of characters, it’s no wonder we overlook Obed-Edom. His obscure name is a compound of two other names—Obed, David’s grandfather, and Edom, Esau’s nickname. No doubt, many of us would have to Google him to figure out who he was. Yet he beautifully illustrates what has happened to us—especially us Gentiles—through Jesus.”

Unlocking the Bible: 10 Cravings of the Sinful Nature

“The Christian life is a sustained battle against the constant impulses of sin that rise from the sinful nature. If you are a Christian, your sin is forgiven, but it has not yet been expelled. You are now involved in a lifelong struggle, with the help of the Spirit of God, against the desires of the sinful nature.”

Dave Willis: What Your Phone Reveals About Your Marriage

“Over the years, my wife Ashley and I have interacted with countless married couples, and a trend we’ve discovered is that the way a couple handles their cell phones reveals a great deal about the overall health of their marriage. Let me explain…”

Family Life: About You

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

JD Greer: Is Your Church a Safe Place For People with Same Sex Attraction?

“If you want your church to be a safe place for those with same-sex attraction (SSA), then step one is to realize that we already have church members who experience it. Just like those who are dealing with any other struggle, we should thank God for bringing them to our churches, and ask God to help us serve them well.”

David Prince: Hope for a Hopeless Marriage

“Our lives continued on this path of destruction for many years to follow. Our marriage resembled a roller coaster ride of spending money, drinking, and generally trying anything we could to escape from the painful reality of our broken relationship. Divorce was always a viable option for us. All the while her heart continued to get colder toward me as I sought to gain control over her.”

Restoration Project: Pornified Masculinity and Hope for Restoration (an interview with Dr. Dan Allender)

“Pornography intersects two core domains: lust and power. The desire for sexual touch and play is God-written in our body and heart. We were made for union and joy and becoming one flesh. This is one of the strongest desires of the human heart — male or female. Sadly, pornography wets that desire and then moves the heart toward power and control. ”

Key Life: Getting Better by Not Trying Harder

“Once we are saved by Christ, anything about the Law or sin that could condemn us has been obliterated. Then we strap on our work boots and get to doing some good works, right?”

Christianity Today: How Victims of Sexual Abuse Can Get the Better of Satan

“We now know much more about the brain. We know, for example, that trauma shuts down the left functional lobe where language resides. We have always known that trauma victims have fragmented memories, but now we have a clearer understanding of why.”

Elder DJ Ward: Jesus Paid it All

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Key Life: No Darkness Too Dark—Pride and Pornography

“Even though pornography had already broken my marriage and I hated it, I feared my husband would reject me altogether if I did not force myself to return to what now seemed like a duty.”

Relevant: Everything My Church Taught Me About Sex and Marriage Is Wrong

“Well-meaning as they were, speakers used these lines to preach the Gospel, but the main thing I took away was a shallow understanding of sex and marriage. I found myself believing in two lies: ‘marriage and sex are completely different’ and ‘sex is about me.’”

For the Church: Fighting Lust With Lust

“Awhile back I preached a sermon in which I emphasized the deception and danger of lust. I regretted not being able to further develop the topic, specifically how to fight lust. The answer to lust may surprise some, but it is the answer and frankly the only answer to lust that ultimately works.”

CovenantEyes: 4 Non-Biblical Reasons Porn is Ruining Your Life

“When we look at porn, a supercharged amount of dopamine floods the brain and an artificial high is created. The brain’s pleasure center spikes, and we experience euphoria and ecstasy. Repeated exposure to porn causes the brain to be repeatedly overloaded and become fatigued, and the dopamine receptors begin to shut down.”

XXXChurch: 4 Things You Must Teach Kids About Porn

“There are plenty of things in this world you’ll need to teach kids about. Porn should be one of them, so here are four crucial things about porn you need to impart to your children…”

Paula Hall: We Need To Talk About Sex Addiction